2025 Feb-End Memo | 16% of 2025 is 324

Endless Exams

In the past two weeks I have taken four exams and one speech, two to come next week. It has been so tiring that I cannot even check up on my friends. What a shame.

CHEM 102 is fine. MATH 257 is nice. CS 173 is terrible. Others are not worth worrying. That is enough about examinations.

I have taken this image on Wednesday right before the CHEM 102 exam. It was under the Bell Tower at dusk. Magnificent scenery. Makes me wonder if I should wander out more often.

Relationship

Most people know me as an introvert. I am certain when I was young I was a lot more active and, frankly annoying. Seriously, I deleted all my social media messages from youth because they are so overwhelmingly ridiculous. At that time I would join all kinds of competitions and clubs and radio stations and TV stations.. The epic speech failure in secondary school completely changed my life. I took a pivot from there and decided to return to the US in the end. That was a different story, for another time.

I am perfectly content with the status now. I have a couple of closest friends who I would turn to regularly. I have a family with a great relationship and united values. I met new people on campus and started to fit quite well in campus. So in reality the dynamics is quite balanced in my opinion.

But I still enjoy solitude. After I came to college I realized I must have a single room. Some people say on Reddit that it is not advisable. They are correct in a sense but I decided to do so anyways. It turns out I have a much more comfortable sleeping schedule and more flexibility to experiment with a lot of things. Seriously, I love my previous roommates but able to sleep at 9-10 pm is a delightful pleasure. (and wake up at 4-5am)

Generally I am also healthier on campus. Because the US healthcare system is quite terrible, I would do whatever to stay from sickness and astronomical bills. I have not been sick for almost five months. This is a new record for me. Honestly, fear of bills is the greatest motivator for me to stay alive. I do feel like a more complete human being comparing to the past 18 years of my life, and I would assume we are indeed making some progress.

Personality

When I was still applying to colleges, there are a lot of questions for you to describe yourself. I am really bad at this so guess that is why my application results did not go too well.

People will view you very differently from different perspectives. Locations, circumstances, interactions, dynamics… all these things matter to people’s perception of you, and they change from one person to another immensely.

In general I am a very quick person. I am too fast in talking (as every English teacher would tell me, and the entire Biology division from high school), somehow fast in exams (accuracy does not go well with this), and do not like wasting time (wasting other people’s time is completely unacceptable as well as wasting my own.)

I like being prepared. I resent surprises and accidents. I like if my life is planned out in advance instead of going with the flow.

I value detailed things as much as the bigger picture. I do not know which one I am better at anyways.

I do not like to talk in front of lots of people. It is not an ability issue. I am perfectly fine doing speeches and lectures. I just do not enjoy too much attention. If there are ten thousand people in this world that knows my name, I will be scared to hell. I do not like exposing my privacy or waves of attention. I do not want to be famous in public, but I would wish the academia world can recognize my abilities and research in the future.

I always carry my earbuds and my watch with me. Usually I also wear a hat. My family thinks it is hideous but I do not care and will wear them anyways. I used to wear masks as well but even to me that is a bit too excessive.

I like black clothing. I only wear suit pants and dark colored tops. It is not a good fashion choice but it is simple enough for nobody to take notice of me.

I do not say things very often, but friends and family do matter a lot to me.

I wish I can be treated exactly like how I treat others.

I am sometimes just stupid and would mess up ground truth of this world very often. I sometimes come out with opinions so far away from the general public that I second guess myself. (I do this a lot)

My short memory is pretty handy and my long term memory is horrendous. I have trouble doing geometry related things. I am fine with computation in general and better with logistics. I am bad at Geography and History. I like organized subjects with a systemic approach. Case in point, Biology and Computer Science.

I love doing wet-lab experiments as much as coding.

I like factual description and concrete proofs of sciences. I do not resent theories but would want more reasoning behind them.

I love birds but cannot name a lot. I am still trying to learn the names.

I do not share my political opinions and others and frankly I do not have any. (I certainly do not like the NIH funding cut, you can assume that)

I am quite pessimistic and realistic most of the time. I do not daydream. I try to be positive to others and leave the negativity to myself.

I enjoy good British humor. I love both versions of the Office.

I secretly wish that nobody hates me. That is definitely not the case.

I have made a severe mistake in every previous life sector. Two are fixed but one is not. Good thing is nothing severe has happened. Nothing I really regret in college (yet).

I wish I never have to cut my hair.

I think I already have a great life so as long I am still alive, I think we have done just fine.